Between us we have lost about 100 pounds in the last year. I am training for a marathon and Julie is training for a half (Toronto October 18). Wow.
We have learned many things this last year. It is amazing that two people can take such different paths to get to such a same place. One moment at a time.
How can I summarize Wisdom? Firstly, by mindfully realizing that it is only an image of Wisdom. Then, that I didn't create it or even discover it. There are some Truths that just Are. There are some I want to try to write about here. Let's see how it goes.
There is truth in pain. Human beings will inevitably experience pain, usually in the form of hurt or fear. This pain is unavoidable. What we do with it is another issue. Pain can (and usually does) lead to suffering. It is an automatic response to respond to hurt or fear with anger, resentment, distain, indifference, envy, jealousy,self pity or craving for something to have or something we need to change. These reactions are completely the opposite of what is needed to avoid suffering. Any of these responses can and usually does make "it" much, much worse.
Imagine a big soup pot filled with these feelings. When you feel hurt or fear, marinate your mind in that pot and let that guide your interactions with those around you (and with yourself). How's it going so far?
Now imagine another pot. In this one, replace anger and resentment with compassion, for yourself and for the "other person" (or people). Maybe compassion for everyone if you can get there. Replace indifference with loving kindness, again for yourself and for others. Envy and jealousy and self pity and craving get exchanged for joyful acceptance. Now, soak your mind in that pot.
No contest. It's not new though. It's not easy either. It requires mindful awareness, so that you know when you feel hurt or afraid, and it requires practice (even when you feel good), so that you can put the effort that is required to do what works instead of what comes naturally.
There is a lot more. I hope I get back here to try to say more of it. If I don't, bug me and I will make a list of some of the books and teachings that I found helpful. Eventually, I hope I can write about some things in a fashion that is as helpful to others as what I have learned has been to me. The basic ideas are from Buddhist teachings. The practice of the ideas is up to us.
By the way, I think that this is what has made it possible for Julie (and for me) to run.
It is one thing to work on understanding and another to put it into some kind of meaningful practice.
ReplyDeleteThe practice is the most important part. It is hard to "find" the time to practice, so one has to make the time. Mindfulness practice comes with a set of easy to understand but hard to stick to steps (like "when you breathe in, know that you are breathing in"). It is a LOT EASIER to practice when you don't need to, than when everything feels like it is falling apart and you haven't practiced enough to be able to do what you really need to be doing to NOT make things worse.
ReplyDelete"Metta" is loving kindness in Pali. There is a metta meditation that, if practiced regularly, goes a long way toward meaningful practice. Of course, it is not a lot different from the loving kindness traditions of the kind we grew up with (like "love your neighbour as you love yourself" - oh and don't forget you have to LOVE YOURSELF first...).
Or "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".....
Or "beat your swords into plowshares and don't teach war anymore".
Metta meditation goes something like this:
May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be healthy and at ease, physically and emotionally.
May I be peaceful.
May I be happy.
Then you hold the image of a honoured mentor or teacher in your mind and go through that again about him/her.
Then again holding the image of a family member in your awareness.
Then with a friend.
Then with a stranger.
Then with someone with whom you have a difficult relationship.
Then with an "enemy".
The hardest two for me are the "enemy"....and myself. I'm told that isn't terribly uncommon.
I think the joyful part of joyful acceptance is the relief that comes when one stops fighting the pain or suffering. The acceptance brings a sort of peace.
ReplyDeleteI can joyfully accept that :-)
ReplyDelete