This is a Puffin. It speaks for itself.

Being at a psychiatry conference

The title of this entry could be a straight line: Being at a psychiatry conference is like......
It is like being glad it is now. I had a conversation with someone I have known for MANY years, who I introduced to Julie. He came and asked (after she had left) how many times I had been married now. He thought Julie was my third wife. I told him no, she is my fourth.
I reviewed it for him (since he asked and must have wanted to know...why else would he have asked....). I was married when I was 20 years old for 13 months. I had chosen that as a means to get out of my parents' home. Perhaps I "should have" just moved away, but I didn't. I got married for 13 months, in 1971.
Then, in 1979, I did it again. This time I chose someone upon whom I "couldn't be" dependent. I was right. That ended after 9 months.
Soon after, I met the mother of my first three children. We were together for 13 years, married for 8 of those. In retrospect, I am not entirely surprised it ended and I have already spent enough time speculating on what "might have been". It wasn't.
I met Julie about 8 years ago, at synagogue. We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on August 20th (last week). We are planning to celebrate many more "now" moments together, with every indication that it is a strong relationship and strong friendship and strong partnership.
I told my friend that if I had done ANYTHING differently in the past, I wouldn't be me. And my life wouldn't be my life. In fact (although I didn't tell him this) the world wouldn't be the world. Check out Julie's most recent blog entry and my comment there (plantdoc1952.blogspot.com) if you need more "proof" of this interconnectedness.
It is good that the path Julie and I both took lead to now. It is good that we are each happy (more or less) being ourselves, now. And with that, life is Good, now. One now, one breath at a time, filled with Metta (Loving Kindness) for self, for teachers/mentors, for family, for friends, for strangers, for difficult people, for enemies, for all creatures.
Ok, I guess I still have some work to do :-)

I remember bragging

I remember coming to work and telling Heidie that I ran 3 ten-minute miles. I was SO happy with myself.
I just ran 6.39 miles at an average of 8:28 a mile, WITH hills.
I am still bragging, just farther and faster.
Hi Heidie :-)

Pictures AND there was a fire in St. John's

check out pics at Picasa:

http://picasaweb.google.com/drbob1951/StJohnSNewfoundlandAndNearbyAndAFire#

Bill was all blow and no show

We are in St. John's and it is 16C headed for 22C with slight wind and no rain. One day at a time, one breath at a time.
I am supposed to run 3.5 miles at a tempo pace (which has been 8:30 a mile recently, Much too fast, so I can slow it down if I want to). Hard part is the 2 1/2 hour time change, the long run Sunday, the most sleep I have had in one night in 6 months, and the biggest breakfast I have had in 9 months. But I am about to change into shorts and get out there for the half hour it will take. (How many "nows" are there in half an hour?).
We are going on a tour of the old parts of St. John's this afternoon. Maybe out for dinner this evening. I may even have some pictures to post.

Breathing on Sunday afternoon

I ran 18.25 miles this morning. One step at a time. The full marathon is only 8 miles farther than that. I did it in 3 hours, which is a 4:20 marathon time. I can still stand up, slowly, and I can walk. I am not interested in stairs, but I did get up to our third floor. I am still breathing. Hurricane Bill is now creaming Nova Scotia, and then turning east. It looks like the tropical storm will likely hit the southeastern part of Newfoundland, probably leaving St. John's alone. If you call 40-60 km winds and rain, with 15C temperatures "alone". But we will get there, at least so far as it looks now. I have checked in online and we have our boarding passes. When I breathe in, I know I am breathing in and when I breathe out, I know I am breathing out. And I am not pissed off. Life IS good.

Breathing on a Saturday night

It is a nice day. That is what people say when they are having trouble staying in the moment. "Nice".
Tomorrow (which is NOT in this moment, at least yet) I have an 18 mile run to do. It was going to be a prelude to Julie coming with me to Newfoundland on Monday. Although Environment Canada needs to look again at the map on Sunday morning before committing themselves, there is a hurricane (Bill) much bigger than the entire Maritime Provinces, heading DIRECTLY for Newfoundland. Air Canada is offering to change flight bookings for free for the next 2 days at least. The Huricane Center in the USA is saying that there will be winds from 39-70 MPH (that is MILES, not Km) in the 36-48 hour time period from now, approximating our arrival time. Or the time we be sitting in Winnipeg wondering when we may be able to leave for our trip.
I still have Saturday evening and I still have my 18 mile run. One breath and one step at a time. Then I will be really tired and I will probably sleep a lot.
Then, in a particularly un-Buddhist fashion, I think I am going to be really pissed off.
Check out the satelite picture if it is still there:
http://weatheroffice.gc.ca/data/satellite/hrpt_emar_vis_100.jpg

Julie Bob and Bill

Julie and I are supposed to go to St John's Newfoundland on Monday. So is hurricane Bill. The bad news is that the National Hurricane Center in the USA is predicting that Bill will run right through St John's and has a 50% chance of having some very strong (70-80 MPH) winds by then. The worse news is that Environment Canada is forecasting "periods of rain" for Monday. That SOUNDS good, but they haven't been right yet this summer.
Keep watching for more exciting news. It could be worse. We could already be there.

Sigh.

One breath at a time.

Curiosity

I chose "monetize" which adds advertising to my blog. Apparently, when visitors click on an ad, I earn money. It is supposed to be "smart" in that it takes content from what I write and inserts adds that reflect that content, thereby attracting people who have an interest in that content to those content related adds.
My curiosity is this: what if I insert text that reflects what I would like the ads to be and see if it works. Here goes:

Amazon Canada
Buddhism
Cycling
Running
Photography
Photoshop
Travel
Woodworking

Let's give it a day or so and see :-)

Seven Year Itch

Shingles gives new meaning to seven year itch. Today is our 7th Anniversary! I have eight children, a newly renovated house, a fantastic wife, and I can run farther and faster than I ever could. Ben Gay ointment changes the horrible itchy pain into a warm irritating but tolerable pain. Valacyclovir is supposed to fix this within one week (instead of 2-3) and it is supposed to reduce the chances of post-herpetic neuralgia from 1 in 5 to less than that.
Life is good.

An opportunity arises

Remember hearing "cheer up, it could be worse", and then it got worse?

Well, that funny must-be-a-mosquito-bite-but-I-can't-see-anything that I have had under my left arm for about a week, and on the left side of my chest for 2 days, is now an I-can-see-it-and-is-no-mosquito-bite.

Having shingles for the second time, and at the beginning of a three week break, is Such a good opportunity to practice Mindfulness. hahahahahaha

Seriously, it is what it is and knowing that it will "only last about a week" makes it more of an opportunity to mindfully experience each moment as it arises, and not wish for the week to pass. Having compassion for this body (and its occupant) is sometimes challenging but never (in the moment) impossible.

On the bright side, it is still warm enough to run outisde without a shirt if I want to. Mindful of every step and every breath that I can be.

Aha. A thread seems to have started.

We have a discussion going under comments on Julie as runner.

Bob as writer

I welcome comments to everything I write :-)

Julie as runner

This morning, Julie ran her first race since 1984. She ran a 5k, with some of her running clinic participating (and with me pacing her with joyful encouragement).

Between us we have lost about 100 pounds in the last year. I am training for a marathon and Julie is training for a half (Toronto October 18). Wow.

We have learned many things this last year. It is amazing that two people can take such different paths to get to such a same place. One moment at a time.

How can I summarize Wisdom? Firstly, by mindfully realizing that it is only an image of Wisdom. Then, that I didn't create it or even discover it. There are some Truths that just Are. There are some I want to try to write about here. Let's see how it goes.

There is truth in pain. Human beings will inevitably experience pain, usually in the form of hurt or fear. This pain is unavoidable. What we do with it is another issue. Pain can (and usually does) lead to suffering. It is an automatic response to respond to hurt or fear with anger, resentment, distain, indifference, envy, jealousy,self pity or craving for something to have or something we need to change. These reactions are completely the opposite of what is needed to avoid suffering. Any of these responses can and usually does make "it" much, much worse.

Imagine a big soup pot filled with these feelings. When you feel hurt or fear, marinate your mind in that pot and let that guide your interactions with those around you (and with yourself). How's it going so far?

Now imagine another pot. In this one, replace anger and resentment with compassion, for yourself and for the "other person" (or people). Maybe compassion for everyone if you can get there. Replace indifference with loving kindness, again for yourself and for others. Envy and jealousy and self pity and craving get exchanged for joyful acceptance. Now, soak your mind in that pot.

No contest. It's not new though. It's not easy either. It requires mindful awareness, so that you know when you feel hurt or afraid, and it requires practice (even when you feel good), so that you can put the effort that is required to do what works instead of what comes naturally.

There is a lot more. I hope I get back here to try to say more of it. If I don't, bug me and I will make a list of some of the books and teachings that I found helpful. Eventually, I hope I can write about some things in a fashion that is as helpful to others as what I have learned has been to me. The basic ideas are from Buddhist teachings. The practice of the ideas is up to us.

By the way, I think that this is what has made it possible for Julie (and for me) to run.

by the way.....

Can you say "Bob's Blog 3 times fast"?

(silly, isn't it)

Beginnings

It's August 2009. I've been running again since December 2008. The last half marathon I had run was June 1990 in Winnipeg. Now the last one was April 2009 in Fargo, with a PB time of 2:06:09. I couldn't run the Manitoba half because of injury, but I am now on track to run the Goodlife Fitness Marathon (full!) in Toronto, October 18, 2009. Better yet, Julie is up to a 7 mile long run and is doing the half in Toronto!
I ran 14.5 miles last Sunday, the longest run I have ever done. Today, I ran 16 miles, with Julie pacing me on a bicycle (and carrying bottles 2 and 3 plus my "recovery" drink). We even walked a mile and a half when we got back, to get some Starbucks coffee.
I have lost about 55 pounds (from Sept 08 until Mar 09) and kept it off.
I have 8 wonderful children 5 of whom share our newly renovated and energy efficient home.
I live much of my life in the moment, practicing Mindfulness.
That's what makes this "Beginnings".